Helping Young Men Thrive: Reflections on Growth and Resilience

Throughout the year it’s valuable to look back on the challenges and achievements of the previous year. The journey of growth – physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, creatively, and academically – is remarkable. Students have matured, taken on new challenges, and built resilience, and their parents deserve recognition for supporting them through this journey.

Navigating Anxiety and Building Confidence

Reflecting on the successes and struggles of 2024, Kate Earle, Deputy Principal - Students at St Augustine’s College, shared her insights from the book, ‘Raising Anxiety’ by Clinical Psychologists Dr Judith Locke and Dr Danielle Einstein, in our College newsletter. The book explores the challenges teens face and provides guidance on helping them develop confidence and resilience. Below is some advice from the book that Kate found helpful for parents supporting their sons as they continue their educational journeys:

Turn Down the Focus on Feelings

When raising an anxious child, it’s natural to check in on how they feel. However, ‘Raising Anxiety’ advises against this, as doing so may amplify those emotions. Instead, parents are encouraged to focus on what their child needs to do rather than how they feel about it. This approach is especially useful as students settle back into school routines after holiday breaks.

Facing Larger Challenges

Starting a new school or progressing into the next year can be daunting. The book recommends keeping conversations upbeat but practical. Rather than asking, “Are you excited about school resuming?” (because let’s be honest, were we ever truly excited about the end of school holidays?), try asking, “School starts again next week—do you need more stationery? Does your uniform still fit you?” This approach can help students prepare without overwhelming them emotionally.

Encouraging Independence in Schoolwork

If a student struggles with a project, support and coaching are valuable, but doing the work for them can reinforce self-doubt. It’s important to let them tackle assignments independently whilst knowing that guidance is available, and they can of course ask questions if required. The book also advises against sitting with children while they complete homework, as this can hinder their ability to develop academic independence.

Avoiding ‘Mental Health Days’

While illness is unavoidable, excessive absenteeism can make it difficult for students to catch up, academically and socially. Taking a mental health day might seem helpful, but it can often lead to reluctance in returning to school. ‘Raising Anxiety’ emphasises that missing school for non-essential reasons can make boys feel disconnected from their peers, leading to long-term avoidance, especially for more sensitive children. Every school day matters, even in the final weeks of the term.

Letting Them Solve Minor Problems

Students should not have their mobile phones on them during school hours, and if they text their parents for a forgotten lunch or uniform, the best response is often to let them handle it on their own. Learning to manage small challenges independently fosters problem-solving skills and resilience. If a student forgets their lunch, ensuring they have funds on their school card allows them to buy food so you know they won’t go hungry. If they forget their PE uniform, experiencing the consequence teaches them responsibility and accountability, hopefully ensuring they don’t forget their uniforms again.

Final Thoughts

‘Raising Anxiety’ provides a wealth of practical advice for navigating the teenage years. By fostering independence, resilience, and problem-solving skills, students can grow into confident individuals ready to take on life’s challenges. Reflecting on last year’s lessons can help students, parents, and educators build on their strengths and approach each new academic year, or school term, with confidence.